The Job Search Trap You Must Avoid

It’s an innocent mistake anyone could make.

You’re in a job search, and you’re covering all your bases. You’ve got all the right moves. You’re networking… the right way. You’re rocking your elevator pitch. You not only know your brand, you’re living it — exuding it from every pore of your body. You’re doing your research. You’re on LinkedIn, and you’re workin’ it. Your online identity is robust. You’re staying visible. You’re asking people for help and helping other people. You’ve got your CAR stories and SMART stories memorized, and your delivery is so spot-on you could get nominated for an Oscar. Your interviewing and rapport building skills are nothing short of stellar. You’re being selfless, at least as selfless as you know how to be, and you finally get the big break you’ve been looking for — it’s HUGE — and then, quite possibly through no fault of your own…

it… falls… through… (The nerve!)

That happens sometimes. Things don’t go the way we hoped, the way we planned, and when that thing that you were counting on doesn’t materialize — whether it’s the job interview, or the job offer, or in our case, your chance to see Oprah live in her last season — it can feel devastating.

Yesterday, Charlotte, Kim, and I succeeded in scoring confirmed tickets to be in the audience at Oprah’s show that was going to be filmed the very next morning (i.e. today). Our dream to see Oprah live in her last season was coming true. We were elated, at least briefly… until we realized that there was one obstacle standing in our way that we could not bypass, that we could not strategically network our way around — a severe winter storm that canceled flights and left road conditions too treacherous to navigate.

Needless to say, we were all disappointed — really bummed. To me, it felt like… failure, and then I had a powerful, dare I say profound, shift in my mindset.

It started off as just an inkling of gratitude, as I realized that things always happen for a reason — something I really, truly believe. And yet despite that, I didn’t completely embrace the feeling at first. However, when I invited the thought in and let it settle into my bones, it filled me, and before I knew it, the sense of self-pity, disappointment, and failure was gone, as if by magic — replaced by a sense of peace, power, and abundance.

While the first goal of this project was to realize our dream to see Oprah’s show live in its last season, we did accomplish what felt like an impossible dream — to score tickets to Oprah’s last season, and that’s the fist step toward seeing the show. That’s pretty cool if you think of it, and in my experience, what you can do once, you can do again.

Interestingly enough, when we woke up this morning, we found out that the show scheduled to be taped today was canceled — the first time The Oprah Winfrey Show has been canceled in — get this — 25 years. Yes, the blizzard is that bad. I’m so grateful that I couldn’t get a flight to Chicago, so grateful that Kim didn’t brave the hazardous road conditions to try to get to the studio. It would have all been for naught. Yes, things always happen for a reason — even when we can’t see what that reason is.

If you have experienced a disappointment in your job search, I’d like you to consider this quote by Melody Beattie:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

I’m not saying that you can’t or shouldn’t wallow in your disappointment for a little while. That’s perfectly normal, but  I urge you not to stay in that dark place for too long because that feeling can easily turn into a sand trap of doubt, self-pity, and fear. And frankly, feeling gratitude is so much more empowering.

You do have a choice. Choose wisely.

In support of your Abundant Success,
Robyn Feldberg
The Abundant Success Coach